Gladly, a Hymn from Smirk

GLADLY

Gladly hopeful we go forth
Out into the street,
Greeting each and everyone
Of the folks we meet.

Gladly hopeful off we drive 
To the shopping mall
Making gifts of faith and love
And hope to one and all.

Gladly gingerly we mince
To the gay bordello,
Greeting bears and catamites
"Hey, well met, good fellow!"

Leathermen, dykes, studs and queens,
Are our sisters, brothers.
Abortionists and pederasts,
Like so many others

Are our fellow-pilgrims, but
Let us gladly tell
Bigots, traddies, homophobes
To bugger off to Hell!

To keep the traddies happy, I've added an alternative last line. It's long, but they can drone it to planesong or whatever they call it. Don't say I'm not inclusive. It is -

That they are our beloved, though very diverse, brothers and sisters as well!

There is no leg belonging to the foot that belongs to this shoe.

There is no leg belonging to the foot that belongs to this shoe.

So said Jack Black, the cobbler in Dylan Thomas's Under Milk Wood, as he tried to banish lust from his mind while at work.

I sympathise. Women are often very beautiful, their voices, their faces, their hands, their feet - I won't go on.

Over twenty years ago, in the village where we lived, the local Anglican rector one Holy Thursday washed teenage girls' feet. My daughters were outraged -"I wouldn't let that pervy old man touch my feet." I assured them that it would never happen in a Catholic Church.

And now it has, at the highest level, twice.

I cannot understand how any normal man, aged from puberty to very old indeed, could wash a young woman's feet without impure thoughts. Forget Krafft-Ebing. I am not talking about fetishism, just plain, normal lust.

For these reasons, I think that the washing of female feet by any man is utterly wrong in Church. 

And I worry about our Pope.

Note - I first posted this on Holy Thursday, and received a comment from a "Father *******" to the effect, as I understood him, that my thoughts were unfit for airing on a public blog and should remain private. I deleted his comment, and the entry.

On thinking about the matter I stand by what I wrote, and therefore repost.

Himself and his phone calls...

If he rings me again, I shall report it as a nuisance call.

Papal Bonnet Bees and Belfry Bats

Statement from the Director of the Holy See Press Office

Several telephone calls have taken place in the context of Pope Francis’ personal pastoral relationships.

Since they do not in any way form part of the Pope's public activities, no information or comments are to be expected from the Holy See Press Office.

That which has been communicated in relation to this matter, outside the scope of personal relationships, and the consequent media amplification, cannot be confirmed as reliable, and is a source of misunderstanding and confusion.

Therefore, consequences relating to the teaching of the Church are not to be inferred from these occurrences.

[00645-02.01] [Original text: Italian - working translation]

And one of my hopes on becoming a Catholic 25 years ago was that it would be the end of "misunderstanding and confusion".

An utterly petty, spiteful, and unworthy business initiative?

During the last war, my grandmother had a chamber pot with a picture of hitler on the bottom, inside.

I wonder whether there would be a market for such a utensil, or, better still,  lavatory paper, embellished with a suitable portrait? 

And whose portrait?

Will Those Cretins Give Us No Peace?

I have just read Polish reports on Facebook that the Catholic Church may be planning some kind of joint celebration with  the followers of luther to take place in 2017 to commemorate that scurvy heretic's letter on the Power and Efficacy of Indulgences.

If this is true, whatever next?

Chrystus zmartwychwstał!

Prawdziwie zmartwychstał

He is Risen! Alleluia! A Blessed and Happy Easter!

The waiting is over!

Dean Swift on Free Speech

He (the King of Brobdingnag) said, "he knew no reason why those, who entertain opinions prejudicial to the public, should be obliged to change, or should not be obliged to conceal them. And as it was tyranny in any government to require the first, so it was weakness not to enforce the second: for a man may be allowed to keep poisons in his closet, but not to vend them about for cordials."

Wise king!

Amateur Dentistry, an Enjoyable Hobby

Just to be perfectly clear about it, if anyone ever proposes euthanasia or assisted suicide to me, I trust that my remaining strength will be sufficient to so punch them in the teeth that their subsequent dental ablutions will have to be executed at the other end of their digestive tract.

Unworthy Thoughts

I have in mind the fifth book of Milton's Paradise Lost, where Adam naively questions Raphael, the Affable Archangel, about the more physical aspects of life in Heaven, such as sex and sewage. The second stanza refers to line 438, where Milton is just lovably silly.


If we believe what John Milton
Wrote in Paradise Lost,
Adam, in Eden, entertained
One of the Heavenly Host.

Raphael, the Affable Archangel,
Milton writes, was embarassed a bit
When Adam, curious about Angels,
Asked if they eat, drink, and sh-t.

And Raphael, the Sociable Spirit
Replied that the Heavenly Choirs,
Certainly eat and drink. Consequently
"What redounds, transpires."

Now we know from the Book of Tobit
That Raphael angelically lied,
(My justification for holding
That enemies must be denied

The truth). To return to the question
Of disposing of Heavenly Cess
What do They do with Their Excrement?
Why, dump It in Hell, I guess.

I suppose that the eager Blessed Spirits
Would happily volunteer
For a day trip to Hell, to sling all
The Sewage in Beelzebub's ear.

I know that, if I got to Heaven
I'd be the first in the queue
To make an unwelcome delivery
To Hell, of Celestial Poo.

The recipient - Hitler or Stalin.
They deserve it the most, to be fair.
But I'd seek out the liberal Catholics
And bury with dung ???? ?????
 * * *

* * * Readers are invited to guess who this might be. Beware of U.K. libel law.

Get Thee to a Taxidermist

Modern life stinks, and I have no intention of adapting to it. The sooner the dingy cronies promoting "assisted suicide" set a good example by practising what they preach and ending their irritating existence, the better.

Reprinted from The Christian Institute:

A retired teacher who was not terminally ill has committed suicide in Switzerland because she felt she could not adapt to modern life.

The woman, known only as Anne, took a lethal dose of drugs at a Dignitas suicide centre last month.

She told a newspaper before her death that she found herself “swimming against the current”, adding: “If you can’t join them, get off.”

Protect

Dr Peter Saunders, CEO of the Christian Medical Fellowship, warned that if assisted suicide was legalised in the UK the vulnerable would suffer.

He said: “This case clearly shows that any law allowing assisted suicide for a restricted class of people, such as mentally competent terminally ill adults, will be subject to incremental extension.

“Desperate people will push the boundaries, and as a result legal protection for vulnerable people will be weakened.”

Question

Anne, who lived in Sussex, went to Dignitas with her niece, who says she wants the law in the UK to change.

Previously Anne had been an art teacher as well as working as an electrician for the Royal Navy.

Before she committed suicide, she questioned 21st century life in comments to The Sunday Times.

Remote

“People are becoming more and more remote”, she commented, adding: “We are becoming robots”.

She said: “I find myself swimming against the current, and you can’t do that. If you can’t join them, get off.”

“They say adapt or die”, Anne explained. “At my age, I feel that I can’t adapt, because the new age is not an age that I grew up to understand.”

Inadequate

At present Lord Falconer is pushing for a law to introduce assisted suicide in England and Wales.

Under his proposals doctors could prescribe lethal drugs to patients with less than six months to live.

However, an end-of-life think tank has warned the proposals are “wholly inadequate” and “not fit for purpose”.

Pray firstly for the repose of the soul of this poor, misguided woman, and secondly that others may be stronger and, perhaps, more aggressive.

Lush Mush

I have watched, only once, the video of the Priest with the face like an amiable rodent singing Leonard Cohen's song, which I understand to be accounted poetry by some. I even deigned to read the words.

I am fairly familiar with poetry, as with competent verse, and this is neither.

So why did that poor cleric decide to sing it?

Particularly unpleasant is the fourth stanza, in which the author seems to be complaining about his woman's no longer showing him "What's really going on below But now you never show it to me, do you?" Perhaps it's just as well.

The following lines: "And remember when I moved in you The holy dove was moving too And every breath we drew was Hallelujah" are, in Church at any rate, indecent and, unless they were married,  immoral and blasphemous.

Sung, before, during, or after Mass by a Priest?

O tempora! O mores!