Showing posts with label the nature of time. Show all posts
Showing posts with label the nature of time. Show all posts

Friday, September 14, 2012

Rambo-footer is contrite

In my last piece, Rambo-footer regrettably neglected to take out the Ottoman empire in 1450. Performing this agreeable duty would have prevented the fall of Constantinople, the consequent advance of that empire into south-eastern Europe, and the Balkan atrocities.

Rambo-footer also forgot to nuke Sweden in the 1640s, in order to prevent that country from invading and ruining Poland and desecrating the Black Madonna.


He also omitted to take out Berlin, Moscow, and Vienna in 1770. Their destruction would have prevented the 123 year long partition of Poland.


I have confiscated his knives, guns, headband, scowl, and false chest. He is very contrite. He says also that he is a bit tired.


I have promised to return his toys, and give him use of my time-machine. He has in turn promised to visit the sick Byron in Missolonghi and give him medication to save his life and ensure further poetry;  to liquidate all British 19th century anti Irish Emancipation and Independence M.P.s; to zap Disraeli and all his governments, (enabling Gladstone to do something about a rapprochement with Holy Russia; to prevent the worst excesses of the French Revolution); and to bump off H.G.Wells, Margaret Sanger, Marie Stopes, D.H.Lawrence, W.H. Ordure, and a few others.


Bless him!