Shorn Canary and the Police

I arrived In Poland In July 2005, armed with a copy of some phrase-book-guide, perhaps the “Rough Guide” - I don’t remember. What I do remember is the advice it gave about dealings with the Polish police – don’t smile, don’t laugh, don’t try to be friendly. If you do, you could get into serious trouble.
Having registered my presence and address in Poland at the local town hall, I thought I had done everything necessary. A few days later, two very polite, friendly, policemen called at my house. Could they talk to me? Just routine.

Of course.

I made them coffee, and they asked to see my UK passport and Polish papers. Then the questions.

Why are you living in Poland?

I work here.

Is Poland as nice as England?

Nicer.

Are you English?

No, British. I’m a Celt, part Scottish, part Irish, part Welsh, and a little English.

Shorn canary!

I beg your pardon?

Shorn canary – Scottish actor – James Bond. Are you like him?

Sean Connery – yes, he’s Scottish/Irish.

And what do you think of Polish women?

Very beautiful. I now say, “Very Catholic”.

Satisfied, they left, after enquiring about the cost of English lessons.

A few days later, driving on a lonely local road, a police car came towards me. Its blue light started flashing and there was a quick blip from the siren. I stopped. The police car stopped.

“Please, what have I done?”

“Shorn canary!” from the two policeman, and big grins.

Love Poland.