Newly Elected M.P. Hackney Snoutintroff Interviewed by The Talbot

I cannot divulge how this recording of an interview between Hackney Snoutintroff, newly elected M.P. (Con) for Goovno North, and journalist Brunhilde Maynstreem, from The Talbot Britain's leading intellectual Catholic periodical, came into my possession, but can vouch for its authenticity.

B.M. Thank you Mr Snowtintroff for finding the time to talk to us. First, as a devout Catholic, how do you react to other Catholics who object to your support for abortion?

H.S. Well, Brun, I was elected to represent the fine people of Goowno North in the House, and that is what I will do. If I disappoint them, and don't get re-elected, how can I serve their best interests and those of the nation?

We are a democracy, and the People want abortion - the number of terminations speaks for itself. I'm not going against that. The kind of backwoods Catholics who disagree with me can go f - and I mean read what the more enlightened of our clergy have to say on the matter. End of story. You got a problem with that?

B.M. No, of course not. We at the Talbot, Britain's leading intellectual Catholic magazine - we've been there, done that, and we understand. But what about gay marriage?

H.S. The Church is against discrimination - read the Catechism - and gay marriage is all about equality and justice. The kind of backwoods Catholics who disagree with me can go - er, well, ya!

Look, Brun, I have to represent my constituents, and keep on the right site of party whips and my fellow M.P.s. That's how my bread gets buttered. You have to remember, I'm an M.P. first, and a Catholic second, and privately. The good people of Goovno North elected someone to fight for their interests. They didn't choose me because I was a Catholic. My private religion just doesn't - and shouldn't concern them. It's a private matter. End of story.

B.M. Some Catholics claim that your support of euthanasia is not in line with Catholic teaching..

H.S. Nit-pickers, who just don't see the big picture. No vision. End of story.

B.M. And lastly, how does your Faith inform the way you live?

H.S. Is that the time? Call me a taxi will you? I've a speaking engagement in 20 minutes at Ogle, the new men's lifestyle magazine. There's a good girl!

A pox on't! Clifford Longley fears that the illegalisation of abortion could endanger democracy

H/T for picture to John Smeaton

So the Olympian mind of brain-and-a-half Clifford Longley fears that the illegalisation of abortion could endanger respect for democracy and the rule of law. As he writes, with Cruddas, MP in mind:

Would it not be reasonable for Catholic MPs to want to take into account the damage to respect for democracy and the rule of law that would follow if the criminalisation of all abortion had somehow been forced through Parliament in defiance of public opinion?

If democracy was perfect, and a wise electorate elected a good government, it would, even so, not be worth the life of one innocent unborn child.

An imperfect political system that has delivered abortion, Thatcherism, Blairism, Homosexualism, poltroons like Crossland, education ministers like Shirley Williams, and the ruin of state education is not worth the life of a maggot.

A pox on't!

A Polish child, Whose Ancestors Hitler Did Not Get Round to Aborting, Sings to the Infant Jesus

Just a reminder of what Clifford Longley seems to think is worth sacrificing to preserve democracy: a Polish child, whose ancestors Hitler did not get round to aborting, sings to the Infant Jesus.

Am I too shrill? Should I 'nuance' this?

Longley, Cruddas, Old Uncle Vince Wobbly and all!

I beg you, provided your blood pressure is low and stable, to read John Smeaton's excellent post here which contains his letter to the Tablet in reply to Clifford Longley's article, which I reproduce below.

I find it hard to comment on Longley's piece without recourse to foul language, but will offer the following observations:

1. Longley's tendentious arguments might equally be advanced in defence of not making slavery illegal.

He argues that public opinion would never accept the criminalisation of abortion, and that judges and juries would work to make such legislation ineffective. The G.B.P. (Great British Public), with honorourable exceptions, swallowed Dirty Harry's stealthily introduced so-called reformation and Bloody Betsy's anti Catholicism, as they swallowed Cromwell, slavery, the Test Acts, the Abortion Act, and the more recent pro-homosexualist legislation, even though the majority were probably not in favour. As any fool knows, but not Longley, public opinion is fickle.

Unfortunately, the G.B.P. will swallow nearly anything, just as there are Catholics who swallow the Tablet, Cruddas, Longley, ++Uncle Vin Wobbly and all.

2. He attempts to draw a parallel between the defensive killing of an enemy and the killing of an innocent unborn child, an argument beneath contempt.

3. He suggests that respect for democracy trumps morality.

I shall stop here, as I feel a surge of expletives coming on.

A candidate, perhaps, for this.

Here is Longley's piece:

Is it plausible for a Catholic MP to be “pro-choice”? The issue is raised once more by the case of Jon Cruddas, Labour MP for Dagenham and Rainham and a practising Catholic, who has incurred church disapproval for saying that he thinks abortion should be – to quote President Bill Clinton – “safe, legal and rare”.
Cruddas has also said he is happy with the law as it stands in Britain, which is not quite a standard pro-choice position because of the 24-week time limit and because two doctors have to confirm that the statutory criteria have been met. But Cruddas’ views were nonetheless described by a spokesman from the Catholic Bishops’ Conference of England and Wales as “significantly at variance with the Church’s position”.

That position is set forth in general in the 1995 encyclical, Evangelium Vitae, that “direct abortion, that is, abortion willed as an end or as a means, always constitutes a grave moral disorder”. It therefore follows, it goes on to argue, that the law must protect all unborn human life, from the moment of conception, from deliberate harm. It would not surprise me if a Catholic MP held the first of these two points, yet hesitated about the second. Indeed the first of these two positions is probably not far from what most people feel.

Even Ann Furedi, director of the British Pregnancy Advisory Service and therefore a major lobbyist on the pro-choice side of the argument, has said abortion is “always a personal tragedy”. She and many like her, however, would say it is sometimes the lesser of two evils. I have heard her liken a woman who seeks an abortion to a hunted animal caught in a trap, which gnaws off its own foot in terror in order to escape.
The argument that the criminal law must in all respects mirror the moral law – and specifically the moral law as interpreted by the Catholic Church – is surely not tenable. Almost nobody thinks adultery, for instance, should be a crime. And while it is characteristic of the Catholic way of thinking about morality to say that ends can never justify means, there are instances where the “lesser of two evils” – killing an enemy in war, for instance – is regarded as acceptable.

Nor can we ignore the political reality. The present UK abortion law is supported by a large majority of public opinion and a large majority of MPs. The absolutist position – that every abortion from the moment of conception onwards should be punished as a crime – has minimal support. As far as I am aware, no attempt has ever been made in the House of Commons to repeal the Abortion Act, and the probability of such an attempt succeeding is zero.

Were such a law by some undemocratic means ever to be passed, with public opinion in its present state, the difficulties would be insuperable. Would juries ever convict anyone under a law they so strongly disagreed with? Would judges, similarly ill-disposed, ever pass deterrent sentences? If not, where would be the law’s protection of the unborn? And what would this do for respect for the law, not to mention democracy?
This picture presents real dilemmas for a conscientious Catholic MP. He or she cannot simply advocate repeal of the Abortion Act without saying what should be put in its place. Repealing it would simply make all abortion legal. Yet the only option the Catholic Church would approve of on the basis of its teaching cited above, complete criminalisation, is in practice unrealistic. Are any Catholic MPs who would not support complete criminalisation for such reasons as these, therefore, to be deemed “pro-choice”?
This is the heart of the problem. Anything less than complete criminalisation would involve someone having to decide which abortions to allow and which to prohibit. The “choice” of the pregnant woman would necessarily figure in that decision. MPs in this situation would naturally prefer them to be as few as possible – or “rare”, to use one of Mr Cruddas’ terms. They would be bound to prefer them to be “safe”, to use another, rather than unsafe; and “legal”, to use the third, rather than illegal.

Would it not be reasonable for Catholic MPs to want to take into account the damage to respect for democracy and the rule of law that would follow if the criminalisation of all abortion had somehow been forced through Parliament in defiance of public opinion? Is that course of action really “the Church’s position” with which Mr Cruddas is said to be “significantly at variance”? Catholic MPs are not the only ones with a moral dilemma – it seems the bishops face one too.

PUBLIC HYGIENE NOTICE: NOW WASH YOUR HANDS!

What Can You Buy for Ł680? - Linen on the Hedgerow

Linen on the Hedgerow's powerful post: What Can You Buy for Ł680? puts the sickness of modern society into horrible perspective.

Recommended reading.

Wise and profoundly disturbing post from Blithe Spirit

Wise and profoundly disturbing post from Jim Bowman on Blithe Spirit , about irresponsible moral decisions. It's well-worth following the link he gives.

An Indelicate Question

Whose obituary, assuming that you survive the person or persons in mind, would you like to have printed on your hygienic bathroom paper?

Sorry. My blood-pressure is up, and with it my N.Q (nastiness quotient).

Which Great Living Statesman Did Not Say This, But Might Well Have?

Well, look {little gasp} I mean I'm a Christian {extends hands forward, palms up} and I think - well what I want to say is - I mean - AIDS is a terrible problem, and let's face it {little gasp} it's a real, well, tragedy for Africa {little gasp} and for gays everywhere, and {extends hands forward, palms up} I know most Catholics are with me and my wife on this - I - well - you know - I think that condoms {little gasp} really are the answer.

Well, look {little gasp} I mean I'm a Christian {extends hands forward, palms up} and I think - well what I want to say is - I mean - unwanted pregnancy is a terrible problem, and let's face it {little gasp} it's a real, well, tragedy for Africa {little gasp} and for women everywhere, and {extends hands forward, palms up} I know most Catholics are with me and my wife on this - I - well - you know - I think that condoms abortion {little gasp} really is the answer.

Soi-Disant Catholic Voices: Kindly Wise Up, or Pipe Down

That the Bones You Have Crushed May Thrill has an excellent piece on Resisting Catholic Voices.

As quoted, they certainly do not speak for me, or for the Pope, for that matter. Perhaps they haven't done their homework.

Wise up, or shut up!

That The Bones You Have Crushed May Thrill - Songs

The Bones has produced some fine songs, which you can listen to here

Cretinous Hymnal Sausage-Machines, Please Take Note

God has blotted them out (Author: Unknown)


God has blotted them out,
I'm happy and glad and free;
God has blotted them out -
I'll turn to Isaiah and see:
Chapter forty four, twenty two and three;
He's blotted them out,
and now I can shout -
For that means me!

This was not written by me, or by Smirk. It compares well with the drivel to which Catholics are too often subjected.

It is memorable. I heard it sung, only once, at the age of 11, in a local Gospel Hall, and have never forgotten it. I checked the words  here, and I had remembered them perfectly, no credit to me, but to the unknown author..

It is doctrinal, perhaps a bit iffy and heretical in its failure to mention the need for repentance, but it teaches.

It refers to a sciptural text.

The tune, pure music-hall, is memorable.

Cretinous hymnal sausage-machines, please take note.

Hilarious post from Acts of the Apostasy - Apparition of Martin Luther

Hilarious post from Acts of the Apostasy, but don't read it while drinking tea or coffee over the keyboard.

Ode to a Scrupulous Jansenist

I wrote this some time ago, during the controversy about lying to save life, and deceiving Planned Parenthood to expose their practices.

After six months in escrow, it can perhaps, be given an airing.





The child ripped from its mother's womb,
The mother disembowelled,
The weeping, raped, dishonoured girl,
The widow, unconsoled -
You would not kill, or lie, to save,
But preened your conscience cold.

If butchering barbarians came
You'd never, never lie.
You'd tell them where and whom to find.
Better your kin should die,
Than you should risk your cautious soul
And sacred truth deny.

Truth is, for you, a holy Whole
Never to be defiled
With lies. To save your spotless soul
You sold the guiltless child,
The Jew, the Pole, The Czech, the Greek.
You never once reviled

Your quivering coward heart that prized
Abstractions, truth and such
Above life, honour, innocence,
And love, nor pondered much
On others' grief, and loss, and shame.
Your heart they could not touch.

When now, to expose a wrong, one lied,
To those who have no claim
On truth, exposing foeticide,
Where do you place the blame?
You quack your platitudes, "Two wrongs
Don't make a right." Oh shame!

So it's a wrong to save the just,
The weak, pure, innocent?
I call you coward to your face,
Propped up by logic bent.
The soldier, spy, Priest, blink at truth
To lie with good intent.

Your careful, scrupulous, timorous soul,
I'll never understand,
Your truthful tongue that licks the axe 
Which slays the helpless band
Of innocents. The enemy, once you're used?
They'll shoot you out of hand.

Some Clown Will Take This out of Context

The Holy father has told scientists, referring to stem-cell research,

"The destruction of even one human life can never be justified in terms of the benefit that it might conceivably bring to another."

One human life - Hitler's, Heydrich's, any enemy soldier's? Not what he meant, of course, but I am waiting for some clown to take this out of context, in order to justify pacifism. Perhaps it has been done already.

I wish he had said, or hope that he said,

"The destruction of even one innocent human life can never be justified in terms of the benefit that it might conceivably bring to another."

That I heartily and loyally accept. If His Holiness's remark applied equally to all killing, including that of the guilty and evil, I would find myself, along with the usual suspects including Saint Joan of Arc, loyally disagreeing with the Pope.

And I have no wish to disagree with him.

The Fourteen Holy Helpers by Puff's Blog About Stuff

Wonderful, and you can read it here .

Mundabor on Atheocracy, Democracy, Freedom - Bishop Conley and Ronald Reagan

Excellent post from Mundabor here.

Does Anyone Know if DePaul UK is still Catholic?

It was formerly the de Paul Trust.

Does anyone know, please?

An LOD Inspector Calls - and is Made Mincemeat Of

It is eight o'clock on a Sunday evening at the house of Mr and Mrs Innocenti, somewhere in rural England. In a comfortable, not very tidy room, the Innocentis, who are probably in their seventies, are playing Blue Monk (listen to the original here) by Thelonious Monk, he on alto saxophone, she on piano. A bottle of Jack Daniels stands on top of the piano. There is a crucifix on the wall. The doorbell rings.

Mrs I: I'll go! You can change your reed. 

[exit. Returns with a man and a woman. He is aged about 40, with no hair, a rather low-cut t-shirt, shorts, knee-socks, and big suede boots. He is carrying a clipboard. The woman is also about 40 years old, tall, with short hair, glasses, a permanent thin-lipped beatific smile, and is dressed in baggy denims and Mongolian tractor-tyre sandals. She carries a fat briefcase.]

Petronella Gaskammer: Good evening. Mr and Ms Innocenti?

Mr I: And who the bloody hell are you pair of freaks?

PG: Mr Innocenti. Swearing and personal insults are unacceptable. Do not speak to us like that. I am Inspector Petronella Gaskammer, and my colleague is Mr Dwane Totenlager. We are from LOD, the Lifetime Options Directorate. Have you heard of LOD, Ms Innocenti?

Mrs I: The euthanasia gang? Get out! We're busy. And I'm Mrs, not Ms, you dingy, rebarbative baggage.

DT: Ms Innocenti (or can I call you Maria?) we are here to help.

MrI: No you may bloody not! You and your grotesque sidekick can get your repulsive selves out of here now.....

PG If you persist in being disruptive and abusive, this meeting cannot continue. You are both senior citizens occupying a very large house with five bedrooms and a very big garden..

Mrs I: Which is ours, paid for years ago out of our hard work.

PG: Of course, but there are other families who need accomodation, Maria, and they need it more than you do.

DT: And your medical records (reads from clipboard) show that you, Peter Innocenti, are suffering from prostate cancer as well as degeneration of two prosthetic hips, while Maria has had three operations for ...

Mrs I: And what makes that your business?

PG: It is our job to help people make the right end-of-life decisions. We are both trained counsellors. We are here to explain the options you have.

If you choose euthanasia now, your five children will inherit your home, which is worth over a million pounds, without inheritance tax or capital gains tax. Your cremation and multi-faith funeral will be at the state's expense, and you will have the satisfaction of helping your family, relieving them and the state of the burden of looking after you, and enabling the large pensions you both receive..

Mrs I: Which we paid for...

DT: To be spent on projects and enterprises for the Common Good.

Mr I: And if we don't choose to be put down?

PG: Then your home will be subject to a compulsory purchase order. The price, taking into account your ages, both nearly eighty, will be reduced actuarily to about fifty thousand pounds. You will be rehoused in a Seniors' Facility. You will not, once you have made your decision, be entitled to any free medical treatment, other than euthanasia at such time as our medical experts deem fit, usually on your 85th birthdays. Perhaps you would like to make a cup of tea and consider your decision.

DT: But please don't take too long. We have two more calls to make.

Mr I: [to Mrs I] You'd better sit down, my love, and think about it. I'll make us a coffee. [exit to kitchen. Sounds of kettles etc.]

DT: It's quite painless you know, and think how much better life will be for your family. The facility is waiting outside.

[A minute passes. Sounds from kitchen. Mr Innocenti returns carrying a chainsaw.]

Mr I: Damn you both to Hell! [He starts the chainsaw and makes shrieking mincemeat of the LOD personnel.]

I would like to have finished by saying that the Innocentis were rescued after their heroic last stand, but I fear that in the insane and bleak future which we face, there will be no rescue. 

God help us!

Eternity Waits.

At Mass today a sign near the Sanctuary read:

CZAS UCIEKA

WIECZNOŚĆ CZEKA

(TIME FLIES

ETERNITY WAITS)

Perhaps unoriginal, but it still scared me. I hope that, after reading it, I made an adequate confession.

Croissants and Coffee - on a Lighter Note

Croissants (with butter and jam) and coffee together make my ideal breakfast, even more so now that I know their origin.

King Jan Sobieski III found coffee amongst the baggage left behind by the Turks after his victory at the Battle of Vienna in 1683, and introduced it to Poland.

The Poles celebrated the victory by baking croissants so they could eat the Turkish and Islamic crescent.

Sad News from Ttony at The Muniment Room

Ttony is thinking of posting no more on The Muniment Room - I sincerely hope he decides to continue. It's one of the blogs I visit whenever I'm on line.

Please read the post I've linked to above. His wise, temperate, and always very readable blog would be a real loss.

Imbeciles or Worse

"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." - Hanlan's Razor (posted by an anonymous commentator on an earlier blog).

So, the question arises: is the Catholic Church in England being run by imbeciles, or worse?

Badger Catholic - Why Death Became Part of Nature

Badger Catholic has a fine post explaining the reasons why death is necessary.

Well worth reading.

Did Bonfire Night Trump SPUC? We Want the Truth

The ever-vigilant Linen on the Hedgerow points out that a SPUC fund-raising event on 5th November in Bath will probably not take place, since no reply has been received from Bishop Declan Lang to a request to use the city's main church hall.

What are we to think?

We know that in "thinking Catholic" circles of the Blairite persuasion SPUC is an object of scorn, but has the disease infected the hierarchy as well?

Or perhaps the hall has already been ear-marked for a Guy Fawkes night party?

My mind is weary from boggling.