Tuesday, June 7, 2011

A Useful Glossary for Thinking Catholics

A glossary for thinking, liberal Catholics:


Bigot: someone who believes that there is only one truth. Wears cheap suits, has harsh, grating voice, unattractive to women, probably has halitosis - at least we hope so


Catholics, traditional: bigoted backwoodsmen, taliban, Father Z, nuff said

Catholic Voices: a powerful force for sanity in the church. Content with the way things are. Busy harvesting the Fruits of Vatican II


Dance, Liturgical: a beautiful, dignified expression of Joy and Faith. Great because it allows women to express themselves freely and annoys traddie bores

 

Faithful, the: Catholic Voices

Form, Extraordinary: aptly named, a hopefully short-lived sop to Latin-groupies and incense-freaks


Magic Circle: neither magical or circular, but Just Us


S.P.U.C. an unpleasant and very un-urbane pressure group, obsessed with sex, which bangs on about abortion and sex-education. 


Taliban Catholic: one who follows what (s)he believes to be the teaching of the church to its logical conclusion. An empowered bigot

Ultamontane: believing that the Pope is more than just another bishop

Z, Father: a Catholic Taliban leader, or ayatollah

4 comments:

me said...

So, to be a faithful Catholic, does one have to agree with everything Father Z says, in your book? Cos I don't.

Left-footer said...

Shadowlands - i haven't yet read anything by FrZ that I disagree with, but I don't read him every day. No doubt he has said plenty I would disagree with.

I guess I would rather be wrong with him, or G. K. Chesterton, than right with, say, Tina Beattie or the Tablet.

I was simply using him as a stock hate figure for liberal Catholics.

My opinion is only mine. The Church's is something else.

me said...

G K Chesterton, yes. We can unite around his beliefs!

I see what you are saying about your opinion. My chosen word to describe my views, would be my 'interpretation.' Or my response, for Judgment Day, when Jesus says to me "Who do you say that I am?" and maybe "Who did you say that I was, whilst on earth?" He knows my angst with certain statments, made by others. I do pray for them.

Ofcourse, He already knows the clear answer to just where my heart is at, but I might not. I live in the shadowlands at the moment! Maybe you better say a few prayers for me, now that I come to think of it....I'll say some for you too ;)

Left-footer said...

Shadowlands - agreed, we'll do that.

God bless!