A Bedtime Story - Not for Those of a Nervous Disposition

It was seven o'clock on a cold, dark, rainy autumn night. The Gladsome family, Treesgood, the father, Boudicca, the mother, and the six-month old twins were having an ecologically friendly vegan high tea.

Boudicca, sick of tofu, had just gone out to the kitchen for a quick bite at a dolphin steak she had hidden in the refrigerator, when the doorbell rang.

Treesgood answered it, leaving the twins in their high-chairs.

He returned, preceded by a heavily built man brandishing a meat-cleaver.

"Kids!" he bellowed. "Kids! Two kids! Too many kids! Don't think about the environment and all those poor little pandas, dolphins and grizzly bears, do you? Don't you know there are too many people? You need educating!"

"Sorry," murmered Treesgood, "I didn't think...."

"You lot never do! Read this, and you'll understand why it's my public duty to terminate one of your kids."

He handed a pamphlet to Treesgood, who hastily started reading.

At that moment, Boudicca returned from the kitchen, carrying her beloved shotgun. 

She fired, blowing half the man's head off. He fell to the floor, still clutching the meat-cleaver.

"My dear," said Treesgood, "I'm sure we could have resolved this in a reasonable fashion without resorting to violence. The man was entitled to his point of view which is shared by many ecolog... I think I'm going to be sick."