In an Ecumenical Spirit

In my current ecumenical spirit, I have given space on another page of my blog to the rantings of Bishop Bogus Smirk, whose page bears the title 'The Ever-Changing Truth".

He is now complaining that no one reads it, so I reproduce his latest piece here. He has produced a video, but characteristically, it doesn't seem to work, so we must make do with this transcript.

GLASTONBURGESI, ORBI, ET PAPAE

TO GLASTONBURY, THE WORLD AND THE POPE


(Opening fanfare of didgeridoos. Camera pans over Glastonbury, cuts to Pope on balcony, pans to group of White Anglo-Saxon women dancing brokenly and angrily around a huge pile of burning wimples. Pans to balcony, on which stands Bishop.)

He speaks.

To Glastonbury - peace, melllow moods, fragrant vapours rising to the heavens from spliff and bong! Happy mushrooming.

To the world - see above.

To Pope Benedict the 16th: be humble. You have much to learn.

Learn, as Tony Blair said a few years ago, to LISTEN.

LISTEN to the people in the pews.

LISTEN to the brokeness and angryness in you own church.

You're OUT OF TOUCH!

Tony Blair, now there's a man to respect and listen to!

For starters, he's a real English gentleman, born with a silver spoon in his mouth, speaks with a proper Oxford accent, not like that Brown, eh?

TONY BLAIR IS A DEEPLY HUMBLE AND RELIGIOUS MAN WHO SAYS IT AS IT IS.

He's also got a brain and a half - he must have. HE'S LOADED!

And he CARES. For BROKENESS, for ANGRYNESS.

He cares for all the unheard people in the Catholic Church, the gays, biseuals, transgenders, lesbians, ordinary people like you and I.

He told you straight, did Tone, that you were out of touch with ordinary people pewsitters, whatever.

He said you should LISTEN to THEM and HIM.

SO LISTEN!

Move on from your obsessions with condoms, abortion, sex, doctrine, theology (don't talk to me about theology), and embrace LIFE with all its DIVERSITY.

WE ARE BROKEN!

WE ARE ANGERED!!

WE ARE CHURCH!!!

(Fade-out broken, angry wailing.)

9 MORE STUPID QUESTIONS

There's nowt so funny as folk.

The Holy Father has put forward a hypothetical situation in which a person engaging in a sinful act takes a precaution to limit a possible evil outcome of that act: a horrible disease.

Journalists, Catholics, Priests and laity, and anyone with an axe, or none, to grind, have applauded, condemned, sneered, panicked, run round squawking like headless chickens, describe it as you will.

So:

1. Was the Pope speaking ex cathedra? No.

2. If he was, has he changed Church teaching on the use of condoms? See 1.

3. If he wasn't speaking ex cathedra, or in a teaching capacity, has Church teaching changed? No.

3. If he wasn't (and we know he wasn't) why are people so excited?

4. Was he saying that using condoms in certain sexual situations may be good? I think not.

5. Or was he saying that the use of a condom in a certain sexual situation, while not good, may signify that the user is trying to mitigate evil, and that his intentions may not be exclusively evil? I think so.

6. And was he therefore simply saying that this putative person in this putative situation is showing a welcome sign of some sort of awakening moral awareness? I think so.

7. If you're at work, and a noise from the street draws you to the window, and you see a group of people belabouring each other with inflated condoms, do you go down to the street and join in?

8. Or do you watch in fascination?

9. Or do you just shrug and get on with your work?

I only asked.

The Common Good

We are lone individuals. As Matthew Arnold wrote,

"Between us lies
"The unplumbbed, salt, estranging sea."

and as Kipling said,
“For the sins that ye sin by two, by two
Ye shall pay for, one by one.”

And yet we seem to yearn for the common good. Individualism is, we are told, a bad thing, and the common good is paramount. So how about a moral litmus test? Do you agree with the following as "common good" propositions?

Please try to avoid using common sense.

1 There are too many people in the world, so contraception and abortion are good things.
2 Treating the terminally ill wastes resources which could be better used elsewhere. Therefore some form of euthanasia is a good thing.
3 My car pollutes our environment, so I must walk, cycle, or use public transport.
4 Religion is good if it promotes social cohesion.
5 Religion, if taken to extremes, does not promote social cohesion, so it is bad.
6 Public display of religious symbols does not promote social cohesion, so it is bad.
7 Excellence breeds envy and discontent, so it is bad.
8 Clever children should not be taught with other clever children, and by clever teachers, as this is divisive. Mixed ability schools and classes should be the norm. Difficult subjects should not be taught because they are divisive.
9 Sex makes people happy, so the more the better.
10 ‘Deep’ ecology, which values all life equally is a very good thing.

And one for luck: The Pope and the Church need to be 100% inclusive.

I think you can guess my position, but your comments would be greatly appreciated.