Saturday, February 18, 2012

Saints for today's big society

Admonished today by none other than Bishop Piquant Pickles, I recant my previous post, and propose the following ecumenical or secular saints:

1 The Protestant Martyrs of England and Wales, who bravely died for a lie,

2 Thomas Cranmer, martyr and patron of turncoats,

3 Ghandi, well, whatever,

4 Margaret Sanger, dedicated her life to the improvement of the gene pool,

5 Marie Stopes, unholy fool,

6 Joe Orton, a martyr for SSA,

7 Freddie Mercury, a martyr for love,

8 Federico García Lorca, a martyr for love and for antifascism,

9 The Spanish Martyrs, victims of the Spanish Inquisition, martyrs for Islam or NCEB (non-Catholic ecclesial bodies),

10 Tony Blair, a true ecumenist (to be canonised after his death of course).

11 Che Guevara, great lover of and fighter for the poor,

12 David ('Lord') Steel, compassionate and humane pioneer of women's reproductive health,

13 Lord Portimbibe, a martyr to gout.

Your further suggestions are welcome, but please, keep 'em nasty.

4 comments:

Patrick Button said...

Henry VIII, martyr for syphilitic love.

Islamic Suicide bombers, martyrs for Allah.

The various incarnations of the Dalai Lama, the greatest ecumenisist ever: His religion is so useless even secular liberals like him.

Left-footer said...

Patrick - that's the spirit!

And of course I forgot Calvin, Huss, Luther, and a host of other frauds and nutters.

Richard Collins said...

What about Blessed Pol Pot and the Venerable Mao Tse-Tung?
They are the patrons of the unimagineably stupid initiatives such as the Great Leap Forward or the, Shoot all Teachers, Doctors and Professionals in the back of the Head concept.
And Mao's Little Red Book is a must for every convent bookshelf.

Left-footer said...

Richard - thank you. Into the atheists' Pantheon they go!