NEW DECALOGUE - GETALIFE, MOSES!

OK, folks, it's ME, Smirk, and here they are!

My new 10 Commandments, which I just received at the top of Glastonbury Tor (my Holy Mountain) after a great lunch of MUSHROOMS (Know what I mean? Know what I mean!!!). It's brass monkeys up there, but the local fuzz don't like me smokin' ganja, man, not in the street, anyway, and my landlady's not cool with it. Life's grim without the odd spliff.

1. Thou shalt worship whatever gods or godesses you please, but they gotta be nice.

2. Keep it coool!

3. Graven images are ok - the RCs love 'em, but no fertility godesses, please. Think environmentally.

4. Thou shalt embrace DEEP ECOLOGY.

5. He prayeth best who loveth best all creatures great and small (Saint Samuel Coleridge) (see 4)

6. Thou shalt financially support thy pastors, and especially thy Bishop.

7. Thou shalt love everyone, everywhere, as often as possible.

8. Thou shalt not be a bigot.

9. Thou shalt support the BIG SOCIETY.

10. Thou shalt retweet me as often as physically possible, and desist from slagging off my cool hip jive. It's NOT out of date - the holy never is.

Yours in the love of whatever

Bishop Smirk