A Salute to Archbishop Vincent Nichols

Yes it's me, Bishop Bogus Smirk, at your service.

People have asked me why I am not listed in The Catholic Directory.

Simple, stupid!

I'm not a Papist.

I'm a Bishop of the Multi-credal, Universal, Gay-friendly, What-you-will, Universalist, Modernist Patriarchate, or, for short:

MUGWUMP.

And today I want, maybe a little late, to declare my solidarity with my separated brother, Archbishop Vincent Nichols, in London.

Why, you ask?

Because he SPEAKS THE TRUTH AND SPEAKS IT OUT!

1. He's on record as having said that mortal sin was an unsuccesful attempt to motivate the faithful. Unsuccesful = they weren't motivated!

Cuz there ain't no such thing as Mortal sin, folks. It was an invention of power-crazed clerical obscurantists in the Dark Ages, to spoil people's fun and keep them down, while monks and nuns, bishops and that lot enjoyed their alcohol-fuelled orgies.

No mortal sin means no Hell! Yay!

2. He does not rule out future LGTB marriage or female clergy!

No wonder he missed out on the red titfer!!

So, we are currently redesigning our liturgies to make them more full of sisterly, brotherly, and anyotherly love. Yup!

Come and see for yourself - don't be apart - be a part of our:

Women's liturgical dance - boy, we got some babes!

Men's liturgical dance - tame it ain't,

Topless women's drum circles,

LGBT love-ins,

Abortion/deep ecology/macrobiotic workshops.

We're compiling a New 10 Commandments - get a life, Moses.

So, once again, I salute you, separated but beloved brother Archbishop Vincent (tell-it how-it-is) Nichols.

You inspire me!!!